:: To the unknowing eye, breaking down appears to be failure. When in truth, it is a beckoning for empowered emergence ::
During these huge astrological shifts of retrogrades, eclipses, and full moons I have heard many feel like they are breaking down. When in fact they are really just BUILDING ANEW! Energetically, it feels that our emotions go in waves. There are moments where we feel like finally we have a breath of air and stillness, to only meet more challenges coming our way. These challenges are honing your vision for what you TRULY WANT. Our soul's purpose is front and center. This is no longer a time where we can avoid. This is no longer a time where we can try to float by. This is no longer a time where we can suppress and hope it goes away. These challenging times are put into place to only show you what your TRUE PURPOSE is. It's a time that activates your dharma. Our ego wants to stay in the perceived comfortability of the constant. But it is in the dynamic changes that we transform. The collective consciousness is moving into a new time. A time where we look within. A time where our best selves are being called forth. A time to open our hearts to possibilities. Again, "To the unknowing eye, breaking down appears to be failure. When in truth, it is a beckoning for empowered emergence" -Julie Xo
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After every momentous day, I always take time to reflect. This time I reflect on another cycle, another year. I just celebrated my birth and realized I'm the happiest I've ever been.
I've caught myself a few times wanting to share with the world the adventures I've been on but stopped myself each time. I've given clues but never the full extent. I paused and asked myself why. Why am I stopping myself from sharing my happy moments? And then it came to me. I was ashamed. I didn't want my friends or family to know I was happy because they, themselves were struggling. I didn't want to share because I was scared they would hate me. All of a sudden, I didn't feel relatable. I was ashamed of being joyous because it separated me from everyone else. That's not to say that I haven't suffered. That's exactly what brought me on the path of spirituality in the first place. There were so many nights that I didn't want to continue on any longer. It was the only thing that resonated with my soul. I also want to be clear, that I didn't pursue spirituality as an escape from my body. I walked down the path so that I could return home back to me, and the power within. My ongoing journey of spirituality is the commitment to the evolution of self. That means understanding every facet of myself better and not being afraid of what I will uncover. For lack of a better word it means being courageous and stepping into the unknown to see who you've always been to find that you are the creator. And I decided to create my own happiness. When I caught myself feelings ashamed, I realized I needed to break that. I need to fully own the lifestyle I created. And hope that it inspires others to do the same. To walk away from the confines of our mind that says things to us out of fear. I went through many dark nights of the soul to arrive at this surprise moment of: "oh my god! I'm happy"! I've been manifesting everything that I've been wanting. I hope this inspires you to do the same. To proudly show the world that you're happy because the world needs it. Everyday we are bombarded with information from the media such as the news, social, friends, work that are not joyous vibration. What do you think the percentage of information you receive daily is positive? It's not a lot. So if you're happy or having a joyous moment PLEASE see my story as an example and SHARE IT! Break the noise of negativity with laughter, smiles, and fun! The world needs your joy. And please don't be ashamed to share it. All my love, Julie Have you ever been or are you in a committed relationship and your man shuts down on you? Runs away from you? Or even ghosted you?
If you have experienced this I am here to remind you, it's not about you. And if you are the empathic woman I want to reassure you even more that your heart is big and it's not your fault. Again, I need to say it again, it's not your fault. Psychologically, the affects of this behavior causes the woman to be triggered by abandonment, insecurities, and self-inflicted blame. But it's has nothing to do with you my love. You dared to love and go into it believing in the best. You went into the experience seeing the man before you as what he "can be", his potential self. The empathic woman sees the man before her in his higher form and believes he will become that. But the truth is, if he shuts down, if he leaves you, or if he ghosted you he is not that. Instead, his current state is this. You evoke something out of him that makes him feel uncomfortable. You are mirroring wounds in himself that he didn't even know he had because he has suppressed them for so long. The reason why he is running away is because he needs to find relief from all the emotions that he was not brave enough to face. He might even blame you for his emotions. But the aware man would know that only he is responsible for his emotions. The aware man would know that when he is truly in his masculine, you are a gift to him. You are a gift to him because you are shining light on what still needs healing. The true masculine man would honor your feminine presence in his life because you continue to give him love. He would have the knowing that relationships are there to help him grow and become a fuller expression of himself. So I am here to remind you women out there. It is not about you. You are not to blame. You are a gift. We are only here to serve each other. And in serving each other, we are shining light on all that needs more healing. To my empathic woman who is brave enough to continue loving, know that you have affected his heart with the that love you gave him and he will always remember you. It was never about you. Xo ![]() As I walk down the school hallway, an acquaintance joyfully says hi to me. I peer up from looking at the ground; entranced from watching my feet move one step in front of the other, I didn’t even process that someone was speaking to me. I catch a glimpse of who says hi to me, quickly say hi back, and then go right back to watching my feet.
That was 13 year-old me. I had these 80’s style wide rimmed glasses. I chose them because they were similar to my sister’s, who I thought was the coolest person on the planet. The glasses didn’t quite fit on my tiny adolescent face; they constantly slid down my nose. To top it off I had braces, which I endured for four years. There I was, this petite girl with her face covered in metal and plastic. I was gaining my bearings on life. I was learning to be comfortable in a body that was changing. But what was really happening was that I was embarrassed and ashamed of being me. I didn’t like looking in the mirror so why would anyone else want to see me? And that right there is the good stuff. That belief system is what the me-now is turning upside down. I’m changing things up, connecting with that 13-year-old me and saying it’s not only okay, it’s good, it’s healthy, it’s empowering to show up and be seen. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. – Marriane Williamson My 13 year-old self created this paradigm where I felt it was safer to hide who I was. It’s far scarier to truly show up, shine, risk being fully seen than to give up only a part of yourself, a glimpse of who you truly are. I believe that all of us suffer from the hiding syndrome. We hide who we are, our talents, our expression, etc., in fear of whether or not we will be accepted or welcomed. It’s up to You to accept You. Don’t give that power away. And be WILDLY you! Let out that healer, warrior, teacher, visionary, creator, etc., and you’ll inspire others to do the same. Be brave and shine! Show up. Be bold. Be authentically you! I Chose Me. Back to Yoga
The first time I ever tried yoga I hated it. I was a swimmer and was used to the push and grind of more, more, more. What was this quiet exercise? I felt bored and thought it was pointless because to me, at the time, it was "stretching". I felt much more comfortable with hard cardio, push-ups, weights, and pure adrenaline rushes. I was seeking that high and I couldn't get with the program. But as I deepened my spiritual practice and practiced meditation I decided to give yoga a try again. Last winter I was in need of some healing. I wasn't eating. I wasn't sleeping. I was emotionally wounded and my body was suffering. My soul wasn't comfortable being in my body. Frankly, I was disappearing. I needed a change and that was when I made the first investment I've ever made on myself EVER. I committed to a membership of yoga. My goal for the practice was not to conquer the poses but to understand breath. I went through the practice and would contort my body in ways it wasn't used to. I sweated in the heat (I chose hot vinyasa) and my whole being was pushed to limits it wasn't used to. My muscles were strained, I felt like I couldn't breathe, and I was attempting to move my body into a picturesque image. In every second my body would want to give in but I breathed. I inhaled and I exhaled. Inhale. Exhale. Breathe. This became my practice. The practice of being uncomfortable, expanding my movement, and breathing through the pain. In the inhale, I gathered energy and in the exhale I released the tension. The breath is our life force. I saw myself improving in yoga and started carrying this practice over into other areas of my life. I used the quote, "getting comfortable with the uncomfortable" as my mantra. The conflict of not accepting difficulties weakened. I instead, opened up my energy to it. I began to heal and surrendered myself to the experience. Just like yoga, life threw at me experiences that made me want to collapse but I released the need to control. I accepted it and “got comfortable with the comfortable”. All this healing started because I Chose ME. |
AuthorJulie Pham an international intuitive healer, teacher, and speaker who's mission is to bring more love into world. Archives
August 2018
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